


Broken Heart

by handelgamer



Series: Steeled Walls and Unending Faith - Tales from the Dragonsong War [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Expect we're seeing it from the crush-ee side, Final Fantasy IV References, Multiple Warriors of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Navel-Gazing, Other, Post-Patch 3.3: Revenge of the Horde, Syngigeim's emotional availibilty has left the building, Unrequited Crush, only wol mask now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handelgamer/pseuds/handelgamer
Summary: Bad dreams, awkward conversations and sorrowful thoughts. Syngigeim's continues closing her heart off.
Relationships: Alphinaud Leveilleur/Warrior of Light, Warrior of Light/Warrior of Light, implied haurchefant/wol, implied minfilia/wol, implied moenbryda/wol
Series: Steeled Walls and Unending Faith - Tales from the Dragonsong War [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1102650
Comments: 15
Kudos: 17





	Broken Heart

It was that dream again. The water, cold as she slowly sank- no, this time it wasn’t sinking. She was being _dragged._ Something was clutching at her throat, dragging her into the depths. Desperately, she clawed at the tendril? No it was scaled.

And in that moment, she understood. Leviathan had come for her.

Ages, eons, minutes, seconds passed. Normally this would be the part where she woke up, sure she was going to drown, but not this time. This time, she felt the need to see more. The sensation of drowning kept catching her but it was a dream. Surely there was something more?

And suddenly, she was flung out of the water. The air was sharp as ice and she was coughing up so much salt water.

_Ice_.

She was in Akh Afah Amphitheature. She whirled around, expecting to see Shiva. She was there. Frozen. Encased in ice. She began to claw at it, desperately trying to do something to free her but it was so cold...so cold.

The ice changed shape around her. It was crystal. It was Hydaelyn. Instead of Shiva, there was Minfilia, deep within Hydaelyn. And the ice she was desperately clawing at instead began to crawl up her arms-

Syngigeim awoke with a start, her eyes opening to find Alphinaud- Alphinaud? What was-

“Ah! I apologize! The fire had died down and I assumed you were cold and... I apologize for startling you awake.”

Syngigeim was going to raise a hand to try to motion to calm down but she found it was covered in a blanket. She moaned softly. “Still sleepy. What’s happening?”

Alphinaud glanced down “Well, I- I saw you asleep in this armchair and you looked cold. I thought that I was careful to not disturb you, but I was wrong and for that I apologize.”

“I-it’s fine.” Inwardly, Syngigeim noted that this was the most flustered she had ever seen Alphinaud. Outwardly, she just sat up straighter in her chair, into proper sitting position. “Really,” she said, cutting him off from stammering another apology, “It’s fine. I was-” She hesitated but then continued. “-I was having an old nightmare.”

“Oh?” Alphinaud said. His eyes were curious. A light smile touched Syngigeim’s face. How much had she actually spoken to him about herself?

“When I was young, really young, I did something very foolish. Someone was being carried out to sea, screaming at the top of his lungs. I managed to spy him, a small lalafell, quickly being dragged out into open sea. And I, for a few moments, did not think. I just leaped into the ocean.”

Alphinaud pulled up an opposing chair and sat in it, “Sounds like a noble beginning for the famed Warrior of Light.”

“Yes well, here’s what I hope the stories they speak of the Warrior will point out,” Syngigeim retorted. “I was rather sickly as a child. It was only by a miracle of chance that I managed to even catch up to this lalafell. At that point, I was quite out of breath and tired. It was all I could do to try to hold him aloft, the better for his shouts to carry. I remember...for a few brief moments, the lad was plucked from my hands. ‘Surely, this is the end for me,’ I thought as I began to slip into the deep blue. It was then that someone, I can’t remember who, grabbed my arm and pulled me out. Next thing I realize, I’m on land, with a very tearful lalafell hugging me. Despite me coughing up buckets of water.”

Alphinaud smiled and nodded, “And he’s been taken with you even since, hasn’t he?”

Syngigeim sighed. “Well, I was going to say ‘best friends’ but yes. I am well aware he harbors those feelings as well.” She slumped in her chair. “Did he tell you that or did your infer?”

“I suspected it was something like that, but we did have a little chat where he confirmed my suspicions.”

_We are doing this, then_ , Syngigeim thought. _We’re going to be dancing around THIS topic._ She sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. _Please do not ask me why I can’t return Mariko’s feelings._

_You know why,_ her other thoughts offered.

_Yeah I have a good reason now. I didn’t five years ago._

She glanced at Alphinaud, who was staring at her quizzically. As if pondering what to say. “Well out with it,” she said.

He flinched, then took a breath, and said, “I apologize if I had said anything untoward. I do not wish to make you ill at ease.”

“That’s how many apologies tonight?” Syngigeim said. She winced as soon as the words left her mouth. “I should apologize though. For being so curt.”

“No I-” Alphinaud started, stopping himself in the middle of what Syngigeim figured was another apology. “Have I ever told you...” he started, trailing off in the middle of his sentence. It may have been a trick of the firelight, but Syngigeim thought he saw his ears turn a slight shade a pink.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the great diplomat Alphinaud Levellieur stumble over his words so much,” Syngigeim said, giving a small smile.

There was absolutely no denying the blush that was on his cheeks now. Syngigeim couldn’t help but give a small giggle at that. _He’s so utterly adorable,_ She thought.

_It’s going to be a horrible shame when I break his heart,_ was the silent reply. Her hand was already in a small fist when she giggled but now she swiftly moved her fingers in front of her mouth. She coughed as if she was clearing her throat.

“Syngigeim,” Alphinaud started again. “I have never thanked you for standing by me all this time,” he said, his eyes seemingly steeled with resolution. “You have seen me at my lowest, at my most irresponsible and you were always there. You never showed anything but deepest compassion, even when my decisions caused you great harm. Mayhap that is why I apologize,” he said, glancing to the side. “For when I think of all you and yours have done and seen in me, I feel unworthy of such praise.”

Syngigeim felt a pang in her heart at the phrase. Alphinaud continued on. “So thank you. Thank you for being with me. And believing in me. And I swear,” he said, standing up from his chair and stepping towards Syngigeim, placing his hand on top of hers. “One day, I want to be someone that can stand beside you, as a Scion As a friend.”

She wanted so badly to hug him. Instead she just smiled and placed her hand on top of his and simply said, “You are well on your way to doing so.”

-

Syngigeim was staring at the top of the four-poster bed, unable to sleep. Frowning, she glanced over at the book she was reading, before she dozed off. It was a classic tale, of a Dark Knight who broke away from an evil empire after committing one too many horrors. And yet, Syngigeim couldn’t keep her interest, as evidenced by the fact she fell asleep…

...or maybe it was that a character she liked seemingly died. Dragged away by Leviathan, into the depths. The tale had many of its characters come and go, but that just felt cruel. The story continued on but she couldn’t bring herself to continue. And sleep must have overtaken her...and that dream…

Syngigeim threw the covers over her head, moaning. She needed rest. This was precious time and she always welcomed rest. But her mind could never settle and nights were always the worst. Not even counting Alphinaud…

Gods. Mariko, Arashi, maybe Aymeric, and definitely Alphinaud. What was it that they kept seeing in her? She was nothing. really. Just someone who fought surprisingly well and did what needed to be done. What _must_ be done. Syngigeim was frustrated with herself. She had reasons for Alphinaud, good ones. 10 Summers difference there, still learning and growing.

_Considering what he’s been through though, is that really important?_

_Yes._ She said to those thoughts in the back of her mind. _Still small!_

_All right then. But what about everyone else? Arashi, Aymeric?_

_You know why._ The image of Minfila, now within Hydaelyn. Of Haurchefant, dying right before her.

_Mariko~ Mariko~ Mariko was before that~_ That taunting thought replied. Syngigeim turned on her stomach, cover her ears with her pillow and tried to quell that sing-song thought. _Something is wrong with you~ Yearning for romance and yet can’t return~ So many eligible suitors and none can live up to your ideals~_

Now that was a lie. Syngigeim easily brought up the images of her fallen...flames again. Not just Minfilia and Haurchefant. Moenbryda, slain by Ascians. G’raha, so much like Mariko, locking himself away in slumber. _I have every reason to keep my heart under lock and key. So long as I am the Warrior of Light._

Finally that other voice shut up. Syngigeim turned over and put the pillow under her. She had read stories of heroes who had to cut themselves off from love. _This was no different,_ she thought. And yet, her eyes were beginning to tear up. She was about to wipe them away but she had a thought. _Let them fall now, else they return at an inopportune time._

-

She slept until mid-day the next morning, waking to the sound of harp music outside. In the gazebo, Mariko was playing harp music while Arashi and Aubinaux seemed to be listening.

“Good morning Syngi! Or Good mid-day!” Mariko said, shouting up at her.

“Good midday then,” she shouted back. “What are you all doing here?”

“Mariko wants us to tell him about our adventures in Ishgard so he can ‘preserve our song for the future,’” Arashi said.

“I’m a Bard, it’s what I do. And I missed most of the journey in Ishgard,” He replied.

“All right! Let’s pack up some food then, this might be a bit.” Syngigeim smiled a small, private smile. For now her companions were not going anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> Syngigeim -reads Rydia comes back but somehow older-: What?! This is bullshite I tell ya!
> 
> You know, I didn't think Syngi would be the "emotionally consptipated" one of my WoL's but I guess that's what happen when you are main WoL and you have grief after grief. You'd think she'd feel better after saving Estinien but no! She wasn't particularly close to the dude! More did that for Alphinaud's sake than anything else.
> 
> Also damn you Shadowbringers for making me throw out my romance arc for Syngigeim and go "Nah, she had a crush on Minfilia for ages. Also was unable to accept love until after 5.0." I appreciate the change, since over time the married-to-Arashi bit felt off the further I got into her character but still!


End file.
